Rosetta Stone
by Atheris
Summary: Bella,Jake her new BFFL,& Edward,the boy in love w/ her all have secrets.2 are love,1 is insecurity,1 is dark,but which is which?When all is shared will the friendships last,fade,or grow into more? Is it ever safe to bare it all? AH. Please read?:
1. So much for my happy ending

_You were all the things I thought I knew  
And I thought we could be_

You were everything, everything  
That I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be  
But we lost it

All of our memories so close to me  
Just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending

_**My Happy Ending-Avril Lavigne **_

__ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. Bella is not a shy girl, she loves to party and while she is a hopeless romantic, also loves being single. That is until she starts talking to Jacob, when she starts talking to him her whole life changes. And then there's Jacob, the eternal Bachelor who never opens up. All the girls want to date him, but hook ups are his thing. They become best friends, but is that all they'll be?

2. What would it be like if Jacob and Bella were best friends who fell in love, and Edward was just another friend in love with Bella on the side, but all she wanted from him was friendship? Would life be far different if Jacob and Edward were not the only two people she had dated, and not even her first loves? Would it be as magical?

Either summary works.

**This is my first fanfic so please be gentle. However a little CC is appreciated. If you're expecting this story to be simply all fruity and lovey dovey, then stop reading. It's real. There is heart break, there is longing, and there are mistakes. It's not all happy, because life isn't all happy. It's a BellaxJacob story for now, but while I am TEAM JACOB I can tell you now it won't always be that way. With that said, I do not own these characters, other than ones I may create. They are instead the wonderful dreams of Stephanie Meyer, whom many of us wish we were. ahhh if only...**

**Please read and review, the faster I get reviews, the faster I work and post more chapters :) and they will be longer I promise, this is just my first one.**

**Kristy aka Atheris**

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This summer has been even worse than I could have ever imagined. First Nate and I finally end for good. I know that we broke up a long time ago, but we have still been sort of friends with benefits for the past couple months. And I truly do love him still. I mean he is my first love, and were we epic. He just won't listen to me anymore. I keep telling him we should be together, and I thought that's what this whole FWB thing was working towards, until he cut it off. Suddenly, as if it had meant nothing to him. One day he acts as if he is the happiest person in the world when I am around him, and then he wants nothing but friendship from me. I know that boy better than anyone, like the back of my own hand, and yet for the first time, I feel as if he is a stranger to me, and I can't for the life of me understand him or what he is thinking. I was devastated. I cried myself to sleep for the first couple weeks of summer. Silently sobbing into my pillow so I wouldn't wake Charlie or Emmett until there were no more tears left for that night and I had exhausted myself into sleep. But even sleeping is dangerous. My dreams are filled with memories of us together, and when I wake up somehow my body finds a liquid reserve that allows it to produce more tears when I thought none were possible. My dad certainly didn't know what to do with me besides worry, "girl problems" aren't really his thing, and all Emmett wanted to do was neat the crap out of him, though I just barely managed to talk him out of that one. I know it was foolish to think that at 16 we had found our true loves and would be together forever, but I truly did think that, and still do believe that one day he will come to his senses. Until then I sit in the lonely depths of despair alone and waiting. Going to camp this summer helped, and so did realising I'm lucky for him to still be my friend, and lucky for the friends I have around me. Now all I have to do this summer is be stuck with my dad and Emmett at the cottage, away from my best friends. I miss Jess and Angela, but thank god I have my phone, and a computer sometimes when Charlie lets me use it here. Stupid pride in the outdoors. I made a new friend though, which is something to be said for this summer. His name's Jacob. I saw him at Angela's party in the summer, but for most of it he was kissing some girl. However we did talk for a bit, and I talked to his best friend for a while, even joking around about how because we became friends while we were drinking we should be called the Alchies. I think it's cute. I find him easy to talk to, and he puts a smile on my face. Weird...I

"BEELLLLLAAAA" Charlie yelled a couple feet in front of my face.

"Uh, yes Ch-dad? What's up?"

"I swear sometimes Bella I don't know where your head goes off to. Day dreaming so that I have to call you multiple times, because you're obviously off in a far away land. No clue about the world around you, you are just like your mother sometimes."

I stared at him open mouthed, normally Charlie would rarely say that many words in a day. Our silences are companionable; we don't feel the need to talk all the time. Emmett on the other hand just sat quietly laughing at this exchange, that's big brothers for you.

After a few seconds of my staring he cleared his throat.

"Right, erm well. I got pizza for dinner from town. Walk-in special and all, let's eat."

That's funny I thought, I didn't even know he had gone out. We ate quietly together. It used to be that Emmett would supply ample conversation until he realised that it would not change how we were. I washed up when we were done. He went down to the water to fish while I settled in with a good book and Emmett went off to find his cottage buddies somewhere. I really didn't understand why we kept the cottage when we could all do these things at home, but strangely enough my mother had always loved this place and I don't think Charlie could part with it. So every summer I am forced to come up here and be with him. He says its bonding time but personally I think it's memory time, because the only time we spend in direct relation to each other is at dinner. All he does is fish off the back yard, and putter around here fixing things muttering about how cottage always need fixing. Meanwhile, I either whole up inside and read, or talk to my friends one way or another, because even Em gets as far away from the cottage as he can. I don't know what he expects me to do. Go outside and tan I guess? As if. With skin as pale as mine there are only two ways for my skin to be; normal or burnt. No in between, and I do not want to start school back up looking like a fresh cooked lobster. So with reading being my only thing to do presently, I moved to the comfy chairs on the cottage porch and opened up a book.

After only reading about two pages my phone buzzed. I checked the text expecting it to be Ang, but felt a smile spread across my face when saw his name

**New Message: Jacob**

_Hey what's up?_

Nothing special, and yet special just because it was him. Wait what? What a silly slip I thought desperately to myself. I still love Nate.

After quickly telling him nothing but I was so bored we got into a huge convo about our lives, and then said we would talk again later when I told him Charlie was scowling at me for texting insesantly. It's strange to think you can get to know someone simply through text, but you can. After only a few short weeks of texting already this strange new boy had gone from being no one to my friend, and a pretty good one at that. For some reason I found him easy to talk to, through text or online, and we were slowly entertaining the idea of actually hanging out, though our schedules always seem to clash. I guess the first time I hang out with him it will be the real testament to whether or not we have a solid friendship.

When I thought of him it made me smile. How sweet he was, how I trusted him already. How fast our friendship was growing, how nice his lips were, how strong his cheek bones were, how cute....whoa whoa Bella, I mentally chastised myself. What is this? We have never even hung out really besides once while drinking, and he never dates anyways, and I love Nate still right? Right. So I can't possibly be falling for Jacob Black. Can I?


	2. Love Drunk

_I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover  
I love you forever, forever is over  
We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight  
So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye  
(Oh yeah!)_

_All the time I wasted on you  
All the bullshit you put me through  
I'm checking into rehab 'cause everything that we had  
Didn't mean a thing to you_

**Love Drunk-Boys Like Girls**

* * *

The next morning I sat there contemplating my previous night's thoughts for a long time. It couldn't be possible could it? Liking a guy that I had only ever really met once, and that other than that had only texted? Not just casual texting though, everyday for hours on end. Telling him my life's secrets, stuff that I had never told anyone else. I'm not saying I'm a fake person, but he is one of the only people outside of Nate and Emmett to know the real me, not the me that I present to everyone publically. No, I definitely wouldn't say fake, I would say...cautious, personal. I have been hurt too many times before to not be that way. He is the only person that I feel comfortable talking to anymore, and he is slowly making me more confident and less of the shy little girl I have always been. Emmett is great and all but he has his own life, and he doesn't understand the heart break I'm feeling. He went from being the ultimate player, to boyfriend of the year when I introduced him to Rosalie. Which only makes it more difficult now that her, Alice and I aren't friends anymore. We were best friends. I got her and Emmett together after finding out their secret longing for each other (ew!), and then in turn helped Jasper, who is Emmett's best friend, find the courage to ask Alice out when Emmett told me about his crush. We were perfect for a while, until I met Nate. I know I was stupid now, but only they could see it then. I fell so in love with Nate and stopped hanging around with the girls as much, Nate hung around with different people and didn't want to change that, so foolishly I changed for him. He never quite asked me to, more like a silently controlling implication. He was my first love, and the first of my many mistakes.

Things were great at first, even though I missed the girls I got over it. I mean I thought Nate and I were meant to be together and would be forever, and sooner or later he would want to be friends with them too but forever is over, and now I'm not even friends with them. I act like I don't care, and quietly excuse myself with a lame excuse whenever Charlie asks Emmett about Rosalie. But really it feels like there is a huge whole punched straight through my chest where they used to be. But the only person that knows that is Jacob, and all he does is encourage me to talk to them, to apologise and promise to always out them first. He is so helpful and all he does is tell me that if they truly were my best friends they will love me and forgive me and that they would be crazy not to. I just can't seem to make the first move. I can't even work up the courage to ask Emmett how they are because I don't deserve to know, and I'm sure he thinks so too. The only other person who knew I missed them was Nate, and that's because I made the mistake of telling him one day. Lots of good that did, all he did was tell me that I had new friends now and I shouldn't think about the old losers anyways, and that I could either stop whining, or I could go back to them and leave him behind, for good. Ughhh... I hate this. I haven't thought about Nate at all this summer after I got over the bawling in the beginning, and I have tried my best not to think about the girls at all because surprisingly that hurts more. So here I am needing the one person who got me off on this thought tangent in the first place, time for a text break.

(**the italics are Jacob and Bella's text convo)**

_B: Hey hun, hows it goin?_

_J: Not too shabby, how about you?_

_B: ugh. Not so good:(_

_J: oh no, why whats wrong?!_

_B: Well I woke up and just started thinking about Nate, and our relationship and how I lost him and the girls and how I lost them, and just everything. and now now I'm upset..._

_J: Well its normal to miss the girls, but you gotta make the first move like I told you, show them you're sorry._

_B:I do miss them, and I know you're right I just don't know how to do it yet. I noticed you didn't say normal to miss Nate, I know I need to get over it, and I'm starting to .Maybe. A little. _

_J: No that's not why I didn't say him. Can I be honest with you?_

_B: always, you know that Jake, what's up?_

_J: Bells, it's not normal for you to miss him, because well, he treated you like crap_

_J: I'm sorry if that last one was a little harsh, but I think the sooner you realise it the sooner you move on, and get things back together. You have wasted half the summer depressed, so use the other half that your away to heal_

_B: Jake what are you talking about he...he was my first love:'(_

_J: aww geeze Bells, I'm sorry don't be upset. It's true though. He controlled you, tried to make you work out to get more fit, as if you aren't already beautiful enough. You lost your two best friends and he caused it, he used you, and then he left you in the dust saying you would be best friends still, and then had no time for you all summer...unless all that is a lie?_

_B: well no but.._

_J: No "buts" Bella. He did. Don't cry over him anymore, it's a waste. At the start he was great, and you guys were in love. He changed though, and you know it. He turned into an ass who didn't deserve you. Remember the first love as the guy he was to start, but use the guy he became to help you move on._

_B: It's hard to admit I was that wrong about someone Jake. I don't want to be wrong about hi,, because then who else am I wrong about? Who else is going to hurt me? Jess? Ang? Heaven forbid, YOU?_

_J: No Bell, don't do that. Don't let one idiot who didn't realise your worth make you doubt all the relationships in your life. I won't ever hurt you like that Bella, I promise._

_B: Thanks Jake, I know. I'm sorry. I was just intoxicated by him or something. You're right. You're always right. I don't know how you do it, you snap me out of all my moods, just by telling me to get out of them, its truly impressive_

_J: Yeah well I try lol and It`s ok to feel that way Bella, you were love drunk or something_

_B: so does that mean I can say it was all a drunken mistake and hope everyone sends me to love AA and forgives me?:)_

_J: Clever, corny, but clever. And I'm afraid not Bells, you need to own up to this._

_B: so I guess now I start to pick up the pieces of my life_

_J: That you need to do on your own mostly my dear, but just remember that I'm right here trying to pick up the pieces of you, just like I have been all summer_

_B: Thanks Jake. You're too good to me. I'm really happy we started talking. I just can't trust anyone the way I trust you_

_J: in time,_

_B:Hopefully.._

_J: So first step? Baby ones to start.._

_B: I dunno really. I think realising what a jerk Nate was, is kinda sorta my first step. And he was, and even though I just realised it, already the pain has lessened. I don't want to be that shy little girl, because she is the one who let a guy control her. No more._

_J:That's my girl:). And next on your list?_

_B: I think I'm going to ask Emmett how the girls are...._

_J: good choice, I'm proud of you Bells._

_B: Me too:)_

_J: then when your heart heals, and you can be honest with yourself, maybe you will find room in it for someone else_

_B:Honest with myself, right. Well if I'm doing that, then I think I already do sort of like someone_

_J: oh really? Who,tell me?!_

_B:uh..no one you know:)_

_J: oh well that's too bad. Wish I did know him. Lucky guy;) haha ok Bells, I gotta go now. I will text you later ttyl._

_B:bye Jake_

I closed my phone and sighed....once again you're right Jake, I thought to myself, you are a lucky guy.

**Ok I'm sorry that most of this chapter was written through text, well sorry if anyone is even reading this**

**Things will get better I promise, it's just that with Bella being away at the cottage it is really their only communication form, the relationship does turn face to face though, cross my heart.**

**Review...if anyone out there in the big wide world is even reading....**

**~*Atheris*~**


	3. Food For Thought

**Sorry for my delay in posting. The holiday break is hectic, what with me working again, being with the bf and his family, and trying to look after my trouble maker of a kitten, it has been hard to find the time, but here it is. Hope you enjoy. This chapter is dedicated with love to Isabella, for giving me my first ever fanfiction review and possibly being my only fan, I'm glad I have you hooked and hope you haven't gone anywhere in my absence.**

**Once again these characters belong to the amazingly talented Stephanie Meyer, and sadly not to myself.**

**Xo**

_At the end of the day, I'm not the only person who swears. _

_I get it off my chest and move on._

_**Chef Gordon Ramsay**_

**PS. I know it's a random quote, but all will be understood once you read**

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Chapter 3: Food for thought

I sat staring at my phone for a long time after my conversation with Jake. They say honesty is the best policy, but they never tell you it is going to be so hard, or confusing or hurt so much. There were three things about which I was absolutely positive,

1. I was in irrevocably falling for Jacob

2. I needed to "man" up for lack of a better term, and face my best friends and,

3. I needed to realise I am worthy of more than I settled for in the past, well I think anyways…

So, how do I do this? I changed so much into the type of person I never wanted to be, and now I don't know how to change back. The ugly person is gone, which I thought would leave behind the old Bella, but instead all I am left with an empty shell. The good thing about emptiness is that it is always ready to be filled though. So here's my list...

To Do...

1. soul searching. Who do I want to be?

2. Ask Em about everyone casually

3. Continue to increase the amount of talk on the former friends gradually.

4. Actually talk to the former friends, beginning with an apology

5. realise that people who treat me like crap or take advantage of me don't deserve my time (incl. Nate, lovingly anyways, any exes, and Edward)

I think it's a good list. Though I won't necessarily complete them in that order of course, soul searching is a little bit of a tall order to be taking on first. I also have to actually tell people who don't deserve me that I think that, and I will act upon it until they change their ways. Edward is no exception. First I save him from almost killing himself over a girl, and the loss of his best friends, over a mistake that he made involving another girl, and then nothing. Nope. I stay up all night talking him off the edge, using my time to save him, and he ignores me this whole summer. I thought we were really close but apparently not. Nope, apparently the only guy I can depend on outside of my family is Jacob. Which brings me back to my list. I know he is not on there, but I feel as though a sixth point should be added on what I am going to do with Jacob except as of right now, I have no idea what that is. I am a firm believer in speaking your heart, but I'm sick of putting myself out there with only pain to bring back, and I know he most certainly does not share my feelings so it would therefore ruin our friendship. It would just be too awkward of an admittance for it to be unrequited. But what if...no. He couldn't possibly feel the same. He is so good looking, and I'm just me. Plain, boring old Bella. A peasant beside a god. He looks like frickin Adonis or something, god I would love to see that boy with his shirt off...

Whoa whoa whoa. Stay on track here Bella, mind out of the gutter. Bottom line is that I don't know what to do about him, but for once the guy doesn't get top priority in my life. Everything else does… including me.

So with that thought fresh in my mind I headed out into the kitchen where I would undoubtedly find Emmett eating something. Sure enough, on cue I saw his large rear end sticking out from behind the fridge door. I just had to laugh not only at my brother's huge appetite but also at his predictability.

"uh...Hey Em..." I heard myself say , smooth Bella.

"Hey Bells, what's up? Where you been all day?" he replied pulling sandwich meat out from the fridge drawers.

"nothing really, just been in my room figuring some er, stuff out with a friend. Took longer than I thought."

"ahhh, I see. Well I hope you got everything figured out the way you wanted, I don't have to kick anyone's ass do I?" he laughed.

"No thanks, not this time anyways," I said chuckling a little myself. That's Emmett, always looking for an excuse. And as if he heard my thoughts,

"Aw damn. That's a lot less fun, let me know when there is haha," _right on cue, _I thought to myself.

"Sooooo.....how is everything? Work up here, hanging out, the group, you know....?" I trailed off suddenly feeling like I had no right to ask and losing all my confidence. After a moment of shock that was undoubtedly directed towards my question about the group which through association meant the girls, he looked up and slowly responded to each of my questions.

"Work is ok. They gave me a lot more hours this year because they trust me more. Hanging out is cool, the kids up here are great and all but it's not the same, which brings me to the group, who are good. Uh...Rose and I are strong as ever, so are Jasper and Alice.." he said, and almost managed to not make it seem like a big deal had it not been for the weird strangled sound that accompanied his voice when he said their names. I knew this was awkward for him, but I appreciated that he was good enough to answer me, and as per his usual Emmett ways, was not prying or asking questions.

"oh...well that's good. That's good. I mean good that they're doing well and all and that you are working more, which means more money. Money is always useful you know they say that's what makes the world go round." I giggled nervously. Emmett just gave me a strange look, and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I think it's all pretty well. How are things with you and er work and stuff...?" he asked awkwardly.

"Well work is going ok, I don't get as many hours as I would like during the summer because we are here so much, but I make do. It's not like I have many expenses besides my gosh darn phone. Other things, ummm I don't know really. I have become really close with someone new, read a lot this summer because of how much I have been stuck up here, and in general I have been doing a lot of thinking, in order to make some plans."

"Wow Bella, I never took you for the cryptic type, quiet yes but cryptic never, yet here I ask you questions and you tell me stuff, without really telling me anything at all," he said now a little irritated.

"Oh, no Em I didn't mean to, it's not like you I don't trust you, it's just.." I hurried to scramble out

"Whatever Bella, go tell it to someone who you do trust, like the new person you are now so close with, obviously closer to than your own brother."

"Em,really…" I said a little more defeated.

"No Bella, you come in here asking me questions that I answer even though you should just go freaking ask the girls yourself but you won't man up and talk to them, and I'm sick of it. I have had to sit here for months now and be your brother and their friend which down right sucks Bella, and its not fair. Those girls have cried to me for months because you know what? Despite how much of a crappy person you were to them they still miss their best friend. That's right Bella they miss you too. Not alone because obviously you miss them or you would not have asked about them. But I'm not going to be your middle man, or doorway or whatever you thought I would be especially considering you treated me just as poorly but I don't have the option of just walking away, so do it yourself Bella, if you all of a sudden seem to care then you…"

"STOP!" I screamed suddenly smashing the glass of water I had down to the ground. As I looked at the jagged pieces of glass littered all around me, and brought my eyes up to meet my big brothers, I felt the months of anger build until I couldn't try to even stop the explosion that I knew was coming.

I walked over to him, and gave his giant 6'2'' frame a shove with all the strength I could muster, and started yelling in his face. "Emmett just freaking stop ok. I know. Don't you think I know? I know I was terrible. I know I deserve this and the way you're treating me right now. But don't you see? That's why I can't just go back to them now. All the…the…well frankly all the bullshit I put them through was inexcusable. I can't just go crawling back and say whoops, my bad, let's be friends again. I'm more sorry to all of you than I have ever been in my life. I hate myself for what I did, I deserted them and you over some stupid guy, I was a giant bitch to be honest. A controlling guy who broke up with me and still wanted to use me, a guy whom I gave myself to and whom I loved and will probably always love and who doesn't love me, and who left me with nothing" I broke down on the ground into a crumbled will-less ball sobbing in great heaving gasps.

He came over and sat down on the ground beside me before gently pulling me into his lap away from the glass shards and rocking me while I cried. I buried my face into his shoulder and cried as though I had never cried before. We sat like that for a long time until my crying slowed from painful sobs into less frequent and more subtle sniffles. I slowly came back from my depression with Emmett muttering " shh shhh shhh" and gently stroking my hair, only to make the painful realisation that it had been months since my brother and I had been this physically close. We had not hugged, or play fought, or even high fived. We had not been us. I poked my head out shyly from the crook of his shoulder and looked up at him through my lashes.

"Well hello there my brown eyed girl," he chuckled playfully, " now that your done trashing our dishes, revealing information that a big brother doesn't need to know and swearing which by the way that's quite the vocabulary you have there missy, are you ready to get up?"

I giggled embarrassedly, "Yeah well, I get angry just like everyone else, and apparently I turn into a trucker when I do. Though I am going to have to clean up all this glass now hehe. And no I'm not ready to get up. Because apparently when I get upset you turn into the biggest teddy bear ever so. Can we just sit like this for a little longer? Please Em?" I batted my eye lashes in what I hoped was an endearing way.

"Ha ha. Yeah sure Bells. So what are you going to do now? I mean I forgive you, but the girls are a whole other story. Them forgiving you is not the actual issue, I know they want you back and I know they will forgive you in a heart beat, the issue is when you are going to talk to them, and what you are going to say…"

I thought about this for a second and all I could manage to do was smile, "You really think they will forgive me?"

"Bella I know they will," he replied confidently, "so when are you going to talk to them?"

"Ugh. When we get back I suppose. The second we do probably, screw unpacking, I have a life to regain," I joked earning a laugh.

He chuckled lightly and kissed my forehead, "Good plan Bells. Speaking of getting a life, whose this new 'person' you have gotten really close with?" he asked trying to seem casual.

I gave away the gender by blushing, "HIS name, is Jacob. I met him at Ang's party in the beginning of the summer. Sorta ha ha. He was really drunk so we didn't talk much then, but we started talking a lot and have since continued on msn a little, but mostly through text. We do that quite a bit. He's great Em. I trust him so much, and he has been helping me get back on track, He encouraged me to take a baby step and ask you about the girls, and made me realise Nate didn't treat me right because I was under some stupid love illusion that he had. He's well…a great friend."

"Well then. I should probably meet this Jacob fellow at some point if you guys are such 'good friends'. He sounds like a good guy if he is the one to be kicking you butt into shape after all these zombie months."

"Yeah. I don't know, his honesty sobered me I guess." I smiled at the though, I suppose if Nate was a poisonous drug, then Jake is my cure, and that's a nice thought.

"ok Bells, you know I love you, but you have been sitting on my lap for quite a while now, and I'm loving our discussion but could we please get up? I can't feel my legs…" he said while groaning an rubbing his massive knee caps.

I jumped up lightly and turned around extending my hand to my brother, suddenly feeling light and happy knowing that somehow, for some crazy reason everything was going to be alright.

As I struggled to pull Emmett's huge figure of the floor while he sat laughing and pretending to be legitimately trying to get himself up, Charlie walked in from his fishing trip and stood in the door way silently for a minute before bursting into a fit of loud guffaws.

I looked up and started laughing along with him, and eventually felt myself get pulled to floor by Emmett. Great big bellyful laughs that shook my whole body, laughs that had not happened for me in many moons. And I have to admit it felt wonderful. It felt great to just be alive for once. Soon Emmett joined in and we were all in a fit on the floor, in reality, over nothing. As I wiped away tears from my eyes, and looked around at my family, I felt even more confident that everything was going to be ok.

Charlie was the first to sober up from our laughing adventure, and stood up without saying much except to pat me n the head on his way to change and say quietly,

"It's nice to have you back Bells." With that and his customary crinkly smile he went into the back of the cottage.

Emmett and I slowly got up, and once he helped me clean up the broken glass that was in the kitchen, I went into my room and lay down on my bed to retrace my list. With number 2 done, and 3 pretty much shot to all hell, I was left with 4, part of 5, and overbearingly with the first on my list, on top of the major question of what to do about Jacob, and my ever growing feelings for the strange boy who seemed to be mending my broken heart. So I rolled over and got comfortable preparing to do a lot of time thinking, after all I gave myself quite a bit of food for thought…..

**So there it is folks, Chapter 3. It's longer as promised, reaching 2768 words to be exact. Still not as long as I am working towards, but the key word is working, and plus I really had a vision for this chapter and think I accomplished it. Anyways, hope you liked. Please please please read and review. I will write more if you dooooooooo. Cross my heart.**


	4. Miles Apart

**Hey Everyone...**

**Thanks so much to the few of you that reviewed, it truly means a lot to know that I am posting, and writing in general, for a reason and for someone other than myself. My wonderful boyfriend got a good chuckle out of me today for how excited I was over reviews and being added to alert lists, kid in a candy store I swear, so thanks. Without further delay, this chapter is to you guys, enjoy**

**3 Atheris**

**P.S. I don't own anything in relation to Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does, but anything outside that including the story line is allll mine**

**Miles apart-Yellow Card**

_If I could I would do all of this again  
Travel back in time with you to where this all began  
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind  
And make believe there's something left to find_

We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

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Chapter 4: Miles Apart

The next few days passed in a blur. A lot of time was spent with me thinking over what to do with my current situation, and how to approach everything, but it was also spent with my family. Now that I was "back" as my father put it, things were much happier in the Swan household, even though my dad was dreading the end to his fishing vacation. Don't get me wrong, he loves his job, even though Emmett and I don't. You see, Charlie is the chief of police in our little town of Forks. Pretty boring job if you ask me, considering nothing happens, because there is really no trouble for anyone to get into. But aside from the dread, things were great. We all hung out and fished together, Emmett and I even took the boat out a couple times, with our licences on hand of course, because nothing gets passed the chief. I forgot how much I loved being around the leading men in my life. Something about them just put me at ease, and made me feel safer. We even had a game night, and as dorky as it sounds, I have not had that much fun in a long time, so stamp dork on my forehead and send me off into the world, because I'm proud of it. Emmett and I also talked a lot, about everything. When I say my group of best friends, I include Emmett in that, because aside from the last few months of separation we really are the closest siblings that you could find, except for maybe Alice and Rose, but I think we stand on par.

Of course, while all this continued on, so did my conversations with Jacob and my ever growing thoughts of him and I. This whole time we have been talking of hanging out in person as soon as we possibly can, and I greatly look forward to the day. But for now, all we can do is text. We are becoming increasingly closer, even though distance plagues our actual proximity. I realise that I trust him more than people who I have known for years, people that have watched me grow up. Somehow this boy that was virtually unknown to me before, has wormed his way into my head, but most importantly in to my trust, and into my heart. I have been hurt often in my life, especially for someone who has only just turned sixteen, but I really do trust him. On that subject of trust, was how Jake and I came to be talking about our issues one day, and inadvertently about my feelings for him…

(**As always, the italics are texts)**

_J: Bells, please tell me you have at least begun to get over that idiot Nate already?_

_B: Sort of. If you mean forget that he and I ever happened, or forget how much I loved him and how much I know he loved me even though he had a stupid way of showing it, then no Jake I have not begun to get over him and I don't believe that I ever will. First loves are special, and as much as it sucks to admit it, I will probably always love him in some dark corner of my heart that I hope stops hurting one day.._

_J: ok, and if I don't mean that exactly?_

_B: well then if you mean have I recognized that I need to move on and find someone else then yes, and if you mean do I recognize that he didn't treat me right and that I need someone who does, then yes as well_

And that person is you, I thought to myself as a I pressed send, but you won't know that…

_J: ok good. Any guys on the horizon ;) ?_

_B: ugh, I'm not just going to go jump on top someone because I have realised all this Jacob_

_J: Bella I didn't say that at all, do you always have to react so outrageously, I just meant has anyone caught you eye…._

_B: oh…_I could feel the blush creeping steadily to enflame my cheeks even though I knew he couldn't see the embarrassment I was feeling.

_J: Geeze Bells settle down will ya,_

_B: Well you are a dog sometimes :P_

_J: yes but only sometimes, especially when the moon is full ahwoooooooooooo_

_B: Lol nice one, nerd…so how's life?_

_J: Don't try to change the subject Bella, you're not smooth enough for that, and I know you too well_

_B: Really because I thought that was pretty smooth. Just through it in there like it was nobody's business, I'm like the queen of subject changes.._

_J: Belllllllaaaaa, back on track_

_B: Jake look, I just don't think you will react the way I need you to or the way I want you to if I tell you who it is so I would rather you not know._

_J: Bella I thought by now that you could trust me, after everything we have talked about this summer, after all you confessed to me about Nate and about the girls and everything…I know you have been hurt before, I know what people did to you, But I promise that I will never, ever do that to you Bella._

_B: Jake I know..it's just..well..It's not only boys. Did I ever tell you why it's just Emmett, Charlie and I?_

_J: No, we haven't discussed you mother at all…_

_B: Ok…Well she left. Her name was Renee. At first we had a great life. My mom and dad were happy. She was young and beautiful, and full of energy, but somehow my dad tamed the beast and through shear love, she settled down…_

_J: Ok, that's terrible but a lot of parents split up Bella,_

_B: I'm not done, Let me finish_

_B: A year into the marriage after dating for a long time, my mom got pregnant with Emmett, and they couldn't have been happier. My mom got pregnant almost straight after Emmett was born, and less than a year later I joined them. The perfect American family, a little boy for dad and a little girl for mommy. They both spoiled us. We did all kinds of things together and everyone thought my parents were perfect together. Then when Emmett was about 6, and I was 5, my mom suddenly stopped being happy. She would go out at night and not come home, she got fired from various jobs around town, she dropped twenty pounds, and she looked like a zombie, and still my father the police chief, couldn't explain it, but really he didn't want to. One day my mom slipped up, and left her purse on the kitchen counter while she napped. My dad went against his heart and looked inside, and found a bag of cocaine. My mother had become a drug addict…_

_J:…I'm still here_

_B: So that night he confronted her, asked her why and begged her to stop. She said she would and he dumped the stash down the toilet, thinking he had flushed the poison from our lives. Apparently everyone in town knew except for my in-denial father. The police chief's wife being a drug addict was quite the gossip then, you see. So she said she stopped, but all symptoms continued and while my father begged to put her in rehab and she insisted she had it under control, Emmett and became best friends. Whenever dad got into a yelling match after finding a new stash, Emmett would run into my room, help me build a tent, and he would read fairytales of princesses and princes to me, trying to make me forget the left overs of the shattered fairytale in the next room. This went on for two and a half years._

_J: so you were almost 8, and Emmett almost 9?_

_B: Right. Then Charlie couldn't take it anymore. So one day when Renne came home in a particularly bad state, Dad just lost it. He went into his bedside drawer, and came out with tears streaming down his face, and papers in his hands. In all that had already happened, Emmett and I had never seen him cry, so we knew it would be bad. Emmett took my hand and said "lets go Bells, it's time to go play", and we stepped into the living room. That afternoon while Emmett and I were playing, Charlie literally begged her to stop, and then he gave her a choice. He handed her divorce papers that he had already signed stating that he would retain full, un accessible custody of us. He gave her the choice though, "Renee," he said, "it's me and the kids, or it's that shit. Coke or your kids, choose, and choose now because I am not going back on this decision." She looked him square in the eye, clutched her purse, and signed. Then she walked out. Right passed me and Emmett in the living room, without even glancing our way. We heard dad break down in the kitchen, and Emmett began to sing to my softly as I cried, because somehow I knew that this time mommy wasn't coming back…_

_J: Bella I'm soo sorry. You should never have had to go through that, I had no idea that's why she was not around. I'm sending you a hug hunnie, that's heart breaking…_

_B: Dad must have communicated with her shortly after because all her stuff was suddenly gone and I'm assuming he sent it to her. Not only did my family change that day though, I changed, I stopped believing in those fairytales and those happily afters. There was no true love, and there was no happy endings. So you see, Don't apologise. I don't need pity Jake. I need people who won't walk out on me. _

_J: Bella I won't. I'm here. I have been hurt too...I won't do that to you. Just trust me, I have not once judged you for anything you have told me or shared with me. And you did love Nate, but I guess that ending only proved your beliefs, huh?_

_B: Exactly. I let my guard down a little, and then he smiled. He smiled Jake and it was like something primal inside me was unleashed, I needed him, no matter what I did, I needed to be with him, but I didn't think I would get the prince, guys had never looked at me much before. Then something magical happened, and I did get him, and I fell for him. I let myself love him, and I loved him hard. And he shattered all that just like I should have expected, so while he brought back my belief in the possibility of being happy, I didn't get to keep it._

_J: Oh Bella don't you see though? You are beautiful, I don't understand why guys wouldn't look at you, they must be crazy. And Nate was stupid, there are other guys other chances, and again I'm not like that. I won't hurt you._

_B: Ugh…Jake you're not getting it. It's not that I don't believe you, it's that I'm having trouble believing in you, because you are like Nate. Exactly so. Don't you see, you're the fairytale Jake… You're too good to be true. Why on earth would a guy like you be friends with someone like me, let alone be as close as we are getting. It just doesn't make sense, so you're going to hurt me, because that's what does make sense._

_J: No Bella, I'm not. I'm no prince, and I'm not a fairytale. And what do you mean me vs. you? Bella you don't know how great you are. All this time I have felt selfish because I feel like you are providing me with more out of our friendship then I am giving you. Any guy would be lucky as hell to have you, an Nate was just dumb not to see that and embrace it for all that it is worth. I WILL NOT HURT YOU. EVER. Please Bella, I'm begging you to trust me completely._

_B: You don't mean that, I'm nothing special.._

_J: That should be within me to judge, and I say you are…so ha_

_B: Well I disagree but fine, I will trust you more, but if something happens it will hurt all the more after your promise._

_J: I understand. Thank you. Now tell me who this boy is that you have tried to avoid mentioning…._

_B: HaHa you never give up do you?_

_J: nope, that is something I never do. And I told you that you suck at changing the subject :P_

_B: Ok promise, no weird reactions and that you will continue to be exactly the same way with me and not ruin our friendship if I tell you who it is…._

_J: I swear Bells_

_B: Ok well…._Here goes Bella, man up…._silly as it is, the guy is you. Ok there I said it. I sorta like you Jake..and don't feel obligated I know you don't feel the same its ok…_

_J: hmmm I sorta figured that after your last text, and oh so you know what's inside my heart do you? And you're a mind reader too I suppose?_

_B: Well no but..I..Well you don't. you just don't. It's not possible_

_J: oh and why is that Miss Smarty Pants? Hmm?_

_B: Well you're..well you…and I'm…Well me…yeah._

_J: you know for a smart girl that was really inarticulate of you Bella,_

_B: Ugh well you're just…perfect. And good looking? And I'm not… And you could have any girl you wanted_

_J: You are both as well, and what if I wanted you?_

_B: well I suppose then, well I suppose that would be alright, _I sent blushing profusely with both embarrassment and excitement at the possibly.

_J: Look Bells, this summer, us getting to know each other, it has been great. A real eye opener to the type of person I want to be with, to the type of person I deserve too, and that person is someone like you. And the answer to you're unasked but nevertheless present question is yes Isabella Marie Swan, I do like you back as well. But here is the catch. You are coming home this weekend, and are home for the remainder of summer, but I am not home after that._

_B: Ok…._

_J: And I'm sorry and I'm not trying to hurt you and I hope this doesn't but I can't be with someone who I have not seen all summer, and whom I will not see the rest of summer…_

_B: great just great. So you like me too, and we have something great, but you can't be with me because of our vacations schedules? That's a new one. You could have have just agreed with me when I said you had no feelings for me instead of providing me with such a…Bullshit line._

_J: Ugh Bella. Think with your head and not your heart for one second ok, please? Don't you think what I'm saying makes sense? I would be the luckiest guy to be with you, but there is still a lot you don't know about me because frankly I'm even more closed down then you are, but only because I don't like to be open. Not because I don't trust you, and I really in all honesty don't want to miss you. If we are going to be together I want to BE TOGETHER. I don't want to be miles apart missing you… understand? It's sensible Bella, even if it sucks. _

_B: Yes, I suppose that does make sense, but you still could have lied to me.._

_J: Why on earth would I do that?_

_B: Because now I'm sitting here wanting you even more now that I know you feel the same, or close to anyways_

_J: Wanting me huh? Ow ow;)_

_B:Jaaaakkke. Not like that_

_J: sorry, I'm a dog sometimes you said it yourself…_

_B: Idiot.._

_J: __ that's me. Anyways, I'm glad we had this talk Bella. And I'm glad you opened up to me about your mom and everything, it gives me a little more insight into you, and I'm glad you confessed who you like, even if it can't work right now, and I'm sorry for that_

_B: It's ok Jake, you're right it does make sense, and I don't want you to sit there and miss me, that would just be torture haha_

_J: Yes it would, We would be miles apart, you don't know how hard it would be…anyways night Bella. Xo_

_B: Night Jake:)_

And yes, yes I do I thought quietly to myself as I turned off my phone, we are miles apart, and I DO miss you but I keep you deep inside because you're always in my heart.

**So there it is everyone, Chapter four. It's a lot of stuff to take in so feel free to send me any questions or comments (please please please for the comments) that you may have. As always, the faster you read and review, the faster I write. So you get typing people and so will I. Till then,**

**Xo**

**Atheris**


	5. Dashboard Confessionals

**Once again, thanks to anyone that reviewed or added me to their alerts. For anyone who has written FF then you know how great it is to get feedback when you're just starting out. Also, just a little challenge, if anyone can give me a better summary of the story eventually, that would get more people to read I will love you forever and credit you with it for sure. I'm terrible at summaries. So anyways, here's the next installment, enjoy:)**

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**Chapter 5: Dashboard Confessionals**

So here it is. Our last day to be surrounded by nothing but family and love and nature. Not to say that my town is any sort of big bustling city with tonnes of cars and no trees or anything, but at home there are more people and there certainly are more obligations, and more worries. So I walked to the edge of the dock behind our cottage that day and sat down with my feet dangling bare in the water, and breathed in the sweet smell of summer, the lake and relaxation. I stayed perfectly still, and if I were nothing more than some rock floating on top of the water, the minnows that surrounded me came up and began to nibble my toes, making me giggle. I will admit that to a normal person it would look quite strange that I sat on a dock by myself laughing, but it felt wonderful. So with the new thought of how funny I must look I threw my hair back over my shoulder, raised my head to the sun and laughed. All by myself, for no reason other then a minnow happened to nibble my toes. The sun hit my face, and for some reason, not only warmed my cheeks, but also warmed away that last small trickle of cold depression that was in my heart. It literally felt as though an ice cube that had long since been lodged around my heart melted, washing away the last bit of sadness with it, and bringing with it the refreshed feeling of a miniature rebirth. I, Bella Swan, was not going to let this heart break plague me any longer. The joy that I felt at realising I could actually start living my life again, was amazing. The only word that can be used is pure, liberation. I felt like I was invincible, like nothing could touch me. So I sat there for a while with my head raised to the sky and a smile brightening my face, until Charlie snuck up behind me to tell me that we were ready to leave.

"Wow Bells, I have never seen my daughter look so beautiful. What's got you so happy baby girl?" he asked.

I turned around to look at him and sure enough, there it was, my lovable, favourite, crinkly eyed Charlie smile. I ran up and hugged him around the waist like a little girl.

"Everything Daddy. Let's go home now," I said and ran off towards the car. All I could here was a faint,

"Daddy? Haven't heard that would in a while" and a small grumbling sound from Charlie, sort of a mixture between a bear growling and a cat purring, that he only makes when he is really amused or really enjoying something. In this case, it's me making him feel like I'm still his little girl because he doesn't realise that no matter how old I get he will always be "daddy" to me.

I raced off in the direction of the car and hopped in the back seat only to find Emmett already waiting in the front, with his feet stretched up on the dash board.

"Geeze where were you? We have been ready to go for like 10 minutes Bella" he said in a semi-angry voice, but either he wasn't really mad or my elation rubbed off because he stared at me for a couple seconds and broke into a chuckle.

All I did was grin back at him like an idiot, and pull my pillow out from the back of the SUV we had thankfully rented to drive up there, snuggle in with my teddy and curl up on the seat to sleep away the ride home. I fell asleep quickly thanks to the gentle lull of the car's motor and the constant vibration caused from driving on uneven pavement. It was a pleasant nap, filled with dreams of what I hoped was to come. Me apologising to the girls, them hugging me and telling me they had forgiven me already, and me taking them to meet Jake. Jake and I kissing in the cafeteria at school. All wonderful pictures I conjured in slumber land.

Near the end of our drive home, as I was slowly waking from my nap, I heard my dad and Emmett talking in hushed voices so as not to wake me.

"No dad, that day that you came home and found us on the floor. It all suddenly changed. She asked about the girls. We got into a fight because she was being all cryptic with me about her life yet expecting me to be honest when answering any of her questions. Then bam, she open up like a freaking flood gate. Broke the glass, started yelling and swearing at me, even threw in a good shove" Emmett said to Charlie with a small hint of amusement and admiration in his voice.

"Bella did? Bella never swears. She's always quiet, and she certainly doesn't break glasses.." Charlie said sounding as if he were in amazement.

I stayed quiet and kept my breathing slow and laboured so that they would think I was still asleep.

"I promise. You should have heard her, like a sailor Dad. And she did, she got right in my face and yelled at me. I know this heart break hasn't been the easiest thing for her or us through that, but maybe it was good too. Maybe the quiet Bella we knew before is starting to turn into a more feisty young woman, and as much as you don't like that dad, maybe it will stop her from getting hurt in the future if she is stronger. She has always been a firecracker with us and people she trusts, but never with other people. Maybe now it will be all around. She made a new friend you know..." Emmett trailed of knowing that both the father, and the over protective cop in Charlie would question him further.

"What new friend? What's her name? and how on earth, is it someone up here? She has been here most of the summer hiding away from her problems, trying to convince me she wanted to spend time around me," he said in a curious voice.

_Poor Charlie, _I thought, _I knew he couldn't possibly think I was serious, but how does he know me well enough to recognize I was running away?_

"Well actually, HIS name is Jacob. He is from back home, and they have been texting and talking online all summer,(this earned a grunted "damn technology" from Charlie) and have apparently become quite close. He is the one who encouraged her to talk to me about the group in the first place, and has been helping her piece herself back together, but don't get too red in the face there Daddeo, they're just friends she says…" Emmett finished chuckling at my dad who gets up tight over any guy, and was now a most unattractive shade of purple at the mention of a new one so soon after Nate.

"Well then. Good for this boy, and yeah just friends my arse. Guys don't want to just be friends ever, unless they're already taken and sometimes not even then! Hmppff. Especially with Bella. She's a nice girl, and guys always want to ruin that. And my daughter is beautiful even though she never sees it, people tell me all the time. Just makes me worry all the more. I'm the chief of police, and I couldn't even protect her against a boy last time…." he finished sounding so defeated that it broke my heart.

I desperately wanted to comfort him, to tell my father that it was ok, that none of it was his fault and how sorry I was, but it would only blow my cover. _ Maybe I could tell him later?_ I thought to myself as I continued to listen.

"Dad it's not your fault. You can protect her from getting beat up or getting kidnapped, but you can't protect her from getting her heart broken, short of telling her she can't date. But Bella his headstrong, and you know she would do so anyways, so therefore the mission truly is impossible. She is going to date and she is going to get into relationships that don't work, and she will break their hearts or hurt them, or they will do so to her. Neither you nor I can stop that as much as we want to. All we can do is pick her up and help her get back on track when it does happen." Emmett reassured him and patted him lightly on the arm.

_Thank you Emmett…._I thought. He pretty much did everything I wished I could at that moment.

"Hmpff yeah well I guess your right son. I just hope this one doesn't mess up again, or I will find some random reason to throw him in jail. So help me if he breaks her heart and then so much as litters I'm hauling his arse in…"

Emmett and Charlie chuckled in the front seat and I tried to stay quiet even though I too was amused at my dad's awkwardly displayed affections.

"Bottom line is dad, Bella's back and I couldn't be happier. She is going to mend stuff with the girls when she gets home, then the group will be back together, and everything will be normal again. Other then Bella, she's never quite normal but that's why we love her. I'm so stoked Dad, I really have missed her these last couple months,"

Charlie's only reply?

"Haven't we all son, haven't we all."

A Couple minutes were spent in companionable silence between my brother and my dad, and I lay quietly in the back seat taking in all that I had heard. First of all I couldn't get over the fact that apparently people tell my dad all the time that I am beautiful. I have always thought I was plain, I mean sure Nate told me I was good looking and stuff but its sort of an obligation as the boyfriend. Now Jake tells me the same thing, and Charlie says people tell him all the time. Weird. Could they be right? Am I not looking at myself correctly? Pale skin, clear I guess which is lucky, brown hair with reddish undertones in the sun, I'm petite and my figure is ok I guess, though I'm no Rose, that girl has a killer bod. But I'm awkward, and nerdy and I trip over anything and everything. No they are certainly wrong, biased opinions. They just want to be nice to Charlie, and Jake just wants to be nice to me. That has to be the only explanation possible. The other thing was how much my dad truly loves me. Obviously I know he does, but Charlie is a lot more reserved then Emmett and I, especially after mom left. So not to say he doesn't show us he loves us, more like it s rare for him to come out right and say it or something that hints at it. So for me to here how much he had worried about me, and his silly little threat towards Jake, it really warms my heart. Big old softy that he is. Finally, I wondered if they had said anything else interesting while I had been completely asleep, or how often they had talks like this. It seemed sort of like they bonded over me, with their mutual worry. While I was sort of jealous that Emmet may quite possibly spend more time with Charlie then I knew about, I mostly found it endearing and curious.

With that I began to make a big deal out of rolling and stretching so as to announce that I was awake. Emmett quickly put his phone into his pocket, and turned too look at me laughing.

"Well good morning sleeping beauty, we're almost home and I would smooth down that hair before I got out of the car if I were you," that, along with my horrified expression upon seeing my hair, made Emmett burst into booming laughter that seemed as though it shook the whole car, and it probably did knowing his size.

"Shut it Em, you drool while you sleep so there!" I laughed quietly and stuck my tongue out at him, glad that I had some ammo stored up just for an occasion like this.

He rolled his eyes and turned in his seat to face the front. Bella 1, Emmett 0. Back to the old stomping ground we go. I looked out the window for a bit, as the scenery got more and more familiar. Pretty soon we would be back in Forks. Many see Forks as a cottage town itself, but if you live there it's really not. You could live in legit cottage country, and still want a place to get away, which is why we have our cottage. Because home is where the heart is as they say, but it is also where all of your troubles, and responsibilities, and work, and people you don't necessarily want to see all the time are. However, as we drove past our little town sign welcoming all newcomers, it was as if I saw the town in a new light. Everything was brighter somehow, and I was excited to get back to all the things that most people run away from. The idea of working, and having something to do made me jumpy and excited. The idea of facing my group made me nervous but so happy at the same time, even just being home in my own bed, in my own room was exciting all by it's self. We drove in silence to the car rental place where we had to, that's right, drop of our lovely SUV and pick up the cruiser for the five minute drive to our actual house. Bob, The car rental man greeted Charlie cheerily and handed him the keys to the cruiser. You see we get to rent out the car at a quarter of the price for the weeks we go up there, and in exchange, every time Bob's son gets into any sort of trouble, Charlie lets him go with a warning and brings him home to Bob. I guess you could say dirty, but the kid doesn't do anything serious just runs away a lot, and Charlie says they just "scratch each others backs". Meh works for me.

So after exchanging a few pleasantries and having a short chat about the trip, we headed over to load our stuff into the cruiser. As we were stepping in Emmett and I both stared longingly at the lovely, black, inconspicuous SUV and sighed. Leave it to Emmett to start…

"Dad don't you think it's about time that you had something else to drive around other then the cruiser?" he asked trying to seem innocent, but I saw Charlie's eyes narrow a little at Emmett before gazing quickly back and forth between the SUV and the cruiser.

"Why on earth would I want that Emmett? Everyone around here knows I'm the police chief, it's who I have always been," he replied gruffly.

My turn. "Yeah but Daddy, Emmett and I have our cars to escape from work, you don't ever get to escape. Plus, if you had another car to drive then we would never need to rent cars when going to the cottage or anything like that, because you know we don't fit in the cruiser comfortably enough for long distances, and the same goes for mine and Emmet's cars, because they're small too. It would be nice for you to have something of your own Dad, it gives you freedom." I winked at Emmett when he turned to raise his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah and plus dad, then if you ever needed to do anything in another county as like an under cover personnel then you had exactly the car to do it. Or if you wanted to spy on Bella's boyfriends or dates or anything," Emmett replied sticking his tongue out at me, effectively evening the score.., Bella 1, Emmett 1.

"Well I wouldn't spy Emmett, but just in case he was a sketchy boy, or I did need to do out of town work, it might be a good idea. All of our cars are to small as well, and I would like to take a road trip with you kids some time," he said thoughtfully, and I could tell we were winning him over.

"Yeah dad, and you know Emmett's ginormous frame can't fit in the cruiser for long, so a road trip would be out of the question, even though we would both loooove to come with you," _time for the show stopper I thought, _" And daddy what about your fishing trips? You Harry, AND Billy and anyone else could all go together if you got well I dunno, an SUV or something, and fit all of your fishing gear, and a cooler and everything comfortably, so you could go further for your trips and try new places, with new fish. That would be great for you…" I smiled at Emmett who was undoubtedly shocked at my pure genius.

"Yeah, yeah Bells that would be great. Fishing, car pooling. Wow, you guys are smart. I will have to think about it, I don't want to part with the cruiser but obviously I will still be taking that to work with me, and whenever I'm patrolling or anything. Fine, I'll think about getting a new car, preferably an SUV, I really like the one we just rented too." He sat back in his seat pondering for the rest of the short drive home.

Emmett and I just looked at each other grinning like fools at the possibility of not having to be driven anywhere in the cruiser ever again, unless of course we ever got into trouble, and I could tell that thought crossed Emmett's mind as he smiled to himself.

As we turned onto our familiar street and the large white expansion of our home came into view, I was even happier then before. My plan was to run in, throw my clothing into the washer, throw my suitcase back under my bed, books real quickly onto the shelf, change my clothes from my gross ride home/nap clothes, and ask Emmett to get the girls together in the same place so that I did not have to go and get them separately and wait for the other to arrive before I could talk to them both. Go team go. So we pulled into the drive way and I hopped out to help quickly unload any gear into the garage that my dad needed help with, even though Emmett began by standing around texting with a strange look on his face, I silently hoped that him and Rose were not having problems. So when we were done unloading the few items, including all of my dad's fishing gear I slammed the cruiser car door closed, grabbed my bag and raced up the front steps excitedly only to realise that I had to sit on the front porch and wait for Charlie to finish grabbing his stuff and come to open the door because both Emmett and I had left our keys at home when embarking on the trip. So as the key clicked through all the way and the door swung open I paused for just a millisecond to take in the smell of home; old wood, old books, and pine needles. I kicked my flip flops off at the front door, heaved my bags onto my shoulder and ran upstairs a little too fast. I ended up tripping over my own two feet as usual and falling into my door, knocking it open and sending myself sprawling onto my stomach in the doorway. When I opened my eyes I was staring at two sets of perfectly manicured toes. I let my gaze travel upwards, follow two sets of wonderfully smooth legs, to flat torsos, and finally to the face of what feels like the two most beautiful creatures I had ever lay eyes upon, angels it seemed. _What a sight for sore eyes_ I thought, and then I heard their voices.

"Done checking us out yet Bells?" said one at the same time the other said,

"Welcome Back Bella"

I smiled. My best friends.

**Well that was that folks. A little bit of a filler, but it gives you some insight into Charlie and Emmett. Short and sweet, hope you enjoyed. Please Review:)**

**Xo**

**Atheris**

**P.S. hope everyone got the title:P**


	6. Dirty Little Secret

**So to anyone who was reading, hello old friends. It has been far too long. There truly are no excuses for my neglect of this story, but a lot has happened, and a lot of it has been negative and stressful. So all I ask is for your forgiveness. And thanks for the support. For any new readers that I may attract, thanks for tuning in, and please please R&R!**

**Once again I don't own the majority of these Characters, the talented Stephenie Meyer does. Story is all mine though so enjoy:)**

**xo**

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret, dirty little secret_

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret, _

_My dirty little secret_

Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects

I lay on my floor smiling like a goof while they both laughed at me. Once I got over the shock of seeing them so unexpectedly, I blushed my deepest shade of red and sat up.

"I don't...how did you….why are you…?" I tried to piece a sentence together.

"How and who do you think did this Bella?" Rosalie said with a playful gleam in her eye.

"Emmet Dale Swan! I knew you were up to something in the car! You just wait til I come down there!" I yelled jokingly throughout the house. All I heard was his booming laughter coming from the back of the house, the kitchen in particular I assumed.

"You know that boy, always meddling. Couldn't keep his gorgeous nose out of it. As soon as you came to your senses at the cottage and admitted you missed us, which I mean how could you not (at this she exchanged a duhhh look with Alice), he put his little plan into motion. And yes in the car he was up to something" Rosalie said.

"He was messaging us to make sure we beat you here Bells. Though he could have been a little more discreet about it, the big oaf" Alice continued.

At that moment Emmett's massive frame filled my door way and he interrupted our talk,

"Watch what you say now you little pixie, Jazzy boy isn't here to protect you" he threatened with a wide grin and his most menacing voice. And Alice being her wonderful cheery self simply laughed at him and turned back to me and waited.

"Right, well I'm terribly sorry for how I acted this summer. I sorta felt like I was turned inside out, like my heart and stomach and everything were on the outside. I know I shouldn't have distanced myself from you guys because of Nate, but I really did love him. More than anything, I mean he was my first true love. And that wont ever change, but I can stop myself from changing...so yeah. I'm sorry," I finished looking up at them all. I waited for a couple of seconds but they all simply sat there staring at me still so I figured they wanted more.

"Oh, and you guys are my best friends and I'm sorry I was such a crummy best friend. It wont ever happen again no matter the guy, I promise. No guy will ever come between us again ever." I looked up expectantly just in time to see them exchanging glances. Before I could make a single move they simultaneously tackled me to the bed and dog piled on top of me. We were all laughing and hugging by the end to a chorus of "I forgive yous" and "I love yous".

Alice informed me that Jasper couldn't get out of work, but that he loved me and forgave me too. I couldn't believe my luck, I truly had the best friends in the world. Everything was working out just like Emmett and Jacob said it would. JACOB! Oh my god I hadn't though about him since I arrived home and it shocked me to realize that. It also made me realize that sooner or later I was going to have to tell the girls about him. I dread that all on its own. Rose and Alice are a lot more comfortable being...women then I am. As soon as a guy comes into the picture they both want detail after detail, especially if something happens. I constantly have to remind them (especially Rose) to keep their sexcapades to themselves. So I was not looking forward to the Jacob talk. He will just have to be my dirty little secret for now...

"So Bells…..," Rose began seeming nonchalant, which normally meant she was up to something, "our lives have been pretty boring this summer, same old stuff. But we don't know what happened in yours...tell us." She finished smiling encouragingly at me.

"Well same here. I spent half of it mopping over Nate and you guys, and the later half moping over just you guys. I went to camp as per usual, and the cottage as per usual, and worked in between. Nothing exciting really," I said realizing how truly lame my summer had been.

" Oh come now Bella, you insult us, " Alice began, "to think that when we talked to Emmett we would have squeezed every, last ,little, tiny detail out of him," Rose

continued.

"SO SPILL!" they both commanded together loudly.

In my peripherals I could see Emmett slowly backing down the hall way towards the door and I instantly pieced together what they were talking about, because thanks to my dolt of a big brother, it is the same thing I was dreading only moments before, the Jacob talk.

"ughhhh you guys!," I groaned and tried to hide my tomato red face under a pillow. Rosalie wrenched away and gave me her one of a kind stare. The one that makes guys excited, and makes girls run for cover. The "do it" look with the full intensity of her gaze. Meanwhile, beside her Alice was turning on her signature charm, which sealed my fate. Her lips were pouted, her chin stuck out, and the tiniest tear fell from her eye. Knowing that she has the best puppy dog face in the world, and that it is all simply a rouse does not make it any less effective. By this time Emmett had quietly slipped downstairs to avoid my wrath, but oh no. he would hear from me later.

"There's nothing to tell guys honestly. I'm sure Emmett made it sound a lot more meaningful than it is. His name is Jacob Jacob Black, but we're just friends. Best friends Actually. Not like you guys, in a guy way. But a way that's different than Em and Jasper, different then anything I have experienced. We just click on some weird level, but I mean that's all it is, friendship…" I looked up into their curious eyes.

"Bella, why do I sense that there should be a 'yet' at the end of that sentence?" Alice asked slyly.

"Well I mean, I don't know. He couldn't ever possibly see me like that. You should see him. He's...well… he's beautiful . It sounds hokey but he is. Bronzed skin, toned all over. Dark hair and eyes that smolder. He's like a greek god or something. I well…"

"AHHHHHH!" They both squealed and tackled me to the bed giggling for the second time already that day.

"What? What? I didn't say anything what are you two so on cloud nine about?" I asked defensively.

"Bellllaaa come on, you like him! It's written all over your face, annnnd you're talking about him all ooey gooey, and you expect us not to know you this well? Come on now. Plus, I have like a 6th sense about these things. I'm psychic you know," Alice said completely seriously.

Rose and I looked at each other for a split second before we burst out laughing and began mocking her, much to Alice's fury. "Oh, I'm psychic you know" "oh yes very well then, let me read your palm, after I look at tea laves" we both mocked in our very best Alice impressions until even she had to laugh.

"Ok, ok, so maybe not psychic. But I'm definitely intuitive ," she continued "and the one thing that I do know is that you like this guy Bells, more than a little" she said laying her all knowingly look on me.

The next hour or so was spent reliving my summer in regards to Jacob. I told them how he made me feel, and I told them that he had been through a lot. We talked about how I had opened up to him about my mom, and how I felt as though I could talk to him about anything. And finally I told them about our feelings for each other, and what had been said, which they found most exciting of all.

"So that's it. Our schedules are too ridiculous and he doesn't want to date someone he wont see. He doesn't want to miss me. Basically I think he said it just so I wasn't hurt about him not feeling the same way. I mean wait til you see him." I finished

"Bella seriously, grow up and get some confidence. He was a royal ass, but Nate was hot, and he fell for you, that's point number one. Point number two is that this Jacob fella sounds like he really does have feelings for you and if he is as gorgeous as you say then there you have it. And Point number three is that we do not hang around with unattractive people, ere go you being our best friend makes you hawwwt sister," Rose said after shaking my shoulder. Alice sat beside her shaking her head in agreement. Their words only made me think back to Charlie and Emmett's conversation in the car about people telling Charlie I'm beautiful. I felt as though there were people placing neon signs everywhere point at one glorious object, only everyone could see it except me. Am I secretly good looking I wondered. Maybe I should add that to my to-do list, "figure out if I'm attractive". Silly as it sounds, it might be a useful venture.

Instead of telling my two best friends of these inner thoughts I nodded dumbly at Rose and promised to try and do as she asked. As if it were right on cue my phone buzzed in my pocket and two sets of eyes shot down to my lap expectantly. Butterflies danced in my stomach and I could already feel that I had a stupidly giddy look on my face. I had my best friends back and they had forgiven me, my brother had also forgiven me, and now here, without looking I knew, that my only little piece of heaven was texting me. I flipped open my phone and smiled to myself reading his message.

_J: Hey gorgeous, how was the trip home?_

I looked at the two girls reading over my shoulder as if to say "hello, some privacy here", but instead they just sat in silence waiting to read my reply. I guess that's best friends for ya, nosey as all hell. Realising I had no other option I texted him back while they read over my shoulder.

_B: Hey hun. It was pretty good. I slept most of the way, and came home to a wonderful surprise._

I hit send and looked back and Alice and Rosalie with a smile plastered on my face, and tears threatening to cascade down my cheeks. Because in that second all the lonely nights I had spent crying over them, and missing them came rushing back and I realised how much I loved the two girls sitting next to me. They both rolled their eyes but I could see tears brimming on both their faces, and I knew they were just as happy. We leaned in for a group hug and came up laughing when my phone vibrated against them. They jumped excitedly and poised themselves over my shoulder.

_J: While seeing as I know I'm not standing in your room right now, what ever are you referring to? :P_

_B: ha ha Jacob….. And I'm referring to Rosalie and Alice. They forgave me. Everything is better now_

_J: What? How? Bella that wonderful. I knew everything would be ok, I'm so proud of you! It old you just to try talking to them_

_B: Yeah well I mean Emmett set it up as a surprise, and you were right, they weren't even really mad they just missed me. They forgave me a while ago they were just waiting for me to come to them, which you were right about as well. Come to think of it you were just right in general lol_

_J: I generally am Bells, you should listen to me all the time ;)_

_B: yeah yeah, don't let it go to your already huge head. I will ttyl though they are here right now.._

_J: ok have fun Bells, text me later xo_

I put my phone down and smiled at the girls.

"Wait a second," Rosalie said, "He told you to come talk to us? And he knew we would forgive you if we hadn't already?"

I simply nodded my head. "Well yeah. He listened to me whine all summer and was constantly telling me to talk to you guys. I just had to work up the courage on my own first, take baby steps"

"Hmm I like him already," Rose said smiling.

"Me too, and I'm telling you guys, my sixth sense is kicking me hard in the gut on this one," Alice added.

Just then her stomach growled loudly sending us into a fit of laughter on the bed. We were rolling around clutching our sides when Emmett came in and watched us from the door way smiling. Boy was it good to be home…

**So there you have it. Its not the longest chapter in the world, but I have been MIA so I'm getting back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoy the make up fest. I promise that things will get more exciting soon. After all, school will be starting, and that means everyone's schedules will change. Dun dun duuuunnnnn. R&R! The more you write, the more I do:)**

**Atheris**

**xo**


	7. Invisible

**Hey special shout out to the one person who reviewed**_** ladybug82896**_**. Thanks so much for actually listening to my pleas, and for putting me on all your alerts aha. I write this chapter especially for you. Also, for anyone reading. Please go back to chapter one and read the other options for summaries and tell me which of the three you like best and if I should change it. I want more people to read and share in this journey with all us all. Ok without further delay, here is chapter 7, enjoy:)**

**Atheris xo**

_You just see right through me, but if you only knew me,_

_We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable,_

_Instead I'm just invisible_

**Invisible-Taylor Swift**

The end of summer was coming a lot faster than I would have liked. Rose and Alice were dragging me off to some ridiculous party with them tomorrow, which was Labour Day weekend. How did time pass so quickly? I guess the saying is true as cliché as it is, time flies when you're having fun.

My time home had been amazing. I truly don't know what I was thinking trying to live without the girls. Ever since the first night I came home, it has been as though nothing ever happened. I think we are actually closer than ever, like it took losing each other to make us even stronger. Every second I am not working or they are not working, we are all together. I finally got to see Jazz too the day afterwards, and he didn't even say anything. He simply walked into my house, picked me up in a bear hug that could almost rival Emmett's and then said hey. And that was it. I knew that with his arms, instead of his words he had communicated his forgiveness. I felt even happier after that, though Jasper had that effect on everyone's moods. Whether it was swimming at Rosalie's, or hanging out at our place watching movies, or going out to various places, its as if the group was one giant symbiotic organism. We all existed with each other, and we all were attached at the hip.

Tonight we were going to a pre-season football party with Emmett and Jasper's team. Before the girls parties hadn't really been my thing. A bunch of people standing around drinking mostly out of peer pressure, and talking to people they would never talk to at school just didn't appeal to me. They were always in someone's basement, which got far too hot and smelly, and someone generally puked. People got embarrassingly drunk and did stupid things that I wouldn't be caught doing in a million years. But the first time I went out and got drunk at a party with Rose and Alice everything changed. We danced, we laughed, we were silly, and loud, rambunctious as all hell, and couldn't walk straight. I realised that when you are surrounded by people who love you, and are there to have a good time not do anything ridiculous like fight, drinking and partying is fun. That night my whole life literally changed. I went from nobody to a _somebody_. Granted, Alice and Rose had a lot to do with that purely because they were popular and hot, but also because between us, the Three Muskateers transformed into the party girls. We were invited to every party big or small, no guest list was closed to us. The boys were popular too so they joined us, but it was us girls who got the nickname. "Triple Threat" people called us. And as the saying started to circulate, "A party just isn't a party without the triple threat". You'd swear we were a girl band or something.

It was after the third party we went to that the name came about. People realised that not only did Rose and Alice(and apparently me though I don't believe it) up the hotness at any party, but we could also be counted on to get stuff going. Whether it was beer pong with the guys, or sexy dancing with the girls, we brought the real party. We could be counted on doing at least one stupid thing each that people would laugh about until the next party, and we could certainly be counted on to get everyone drunk. Shots were our thing, and the our three tiny bodies could hold more liquor than half the guys we knew. After our noteriety grew, and I started hanging around with Jess and Angela on occasion as well, is when I started to go to parties without them sometimes. Tonight however, was a good night because we were all going together Jess and Ang too. I only wished that Jacob would come…

Ahhhhhh...Jacob. My mind swelled with happiness even just thinking about him. He's doesn't like parties much though. In fact the one party I met him at, was the rarest of occasions. I still hadn't seen him since that party. Its weird to think that we are literally the best of friends, and yet I have not even hung out with him since then, and we have never hung out alone. But, weird or not, its true. I tell him everything, and he shares things with me which believe it or not be harder for him than it is for me. I didn't think anyone I knew had bigger trust issues than I do, but I think Jake does. It's not that he doesn't trust me, or isn't comfortable with me, its that he is stubborn. Stubborn as a god damn mule. I swear, he was born late because he should have been a Taurus. Stubborn as a bull he is. He is always going on and on how if something is bothering him he doesn't want to "burden me" or worry me, or put more on my plate, or whatever his excuse of the day is. Truth is, he is just the suffer in silence type, and the "I don't wanna talk about it" type. He does share more with me than he does with most people though, so that has to count for something.

Things still haven't moved forward romantically with us either. In fact, really they moved backwards. He says now that he can just see us as friends and I have to accept that. He finally told me that last week and now I am trying desperately to move on, and forget my feelings for him but I cant. Ugh it's hard enough just talking to him every day. I mean I told him I was fine, and that it wasn't that big a deal, but it is. I was really looking forward to school starting so that we could work something out and be together, and now that is never going to happen. So tonight, I planned to drown out my stories with my girls, some music, and A LOT of alcohol. Not always the best plan in the world, but it sure beats sitting around moping about it.

I have some things to be thankful for at least. For one, it's not like we dated for a long time and he then told me he saw me as just a friend, that would shatter me completely. Two, that I didn't love him I only liked him a lot. Three that I hadnt introduced him to my friends and family, and finally that no one knew about us. Public break ups are always so terribly embarrassing. Ugh what am I saying, there is nothing to be thankful for about this situation. The one person that I could already feel myself clicking with more than any other, turns around and puts me in the friendship box. I might as well be invisible to him. I don't know how he can even put me into that category when we click so well. Its like I'm standing in front of him, showing him what the future could be like with me and him together, and yet he is looking right threw me. And I know that one day he is going to be with someone else, but no one will ever get him like I do. I hate life sometimes. Ugh ugh ugh ugh. Hmppf. Well if he doesn't want me then fine, I don't want him either!

Even as I thought it my heart quietly whispered "liar, liar" and I felt my face crumble.

It is funny though how close we still are. I mean I keep thinking that things are going to change our friendship, make one of us run away, and yet we continue getting closer. First, I thought telling him of my feelings would send him running for the hills, instead he stayed. Now I thought that him hurting me would cause me to pull away, but I can't seem to do it. I know that regardless of our romance status, he loves our friendship and I can't bring myself to hurt him. So instead, once again I think it made us closer. It's got me wondering, can anything ever break us?

**So there it is guys, chapter 7. It's a little short, but hey what can you do. I got my vision for this chapter, and I fulfilled it. Basically I wanted to give you some info, set you up for the party, and update in general. Im sure there will be questions so please R&R! Reviews=LOVE3 **

**Atheris xo**


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